For the Luv of Gawd, Whip Me!
April 25, 2005
Patrick Faas fastens his kipa
I guess I should have known that something like this would happen when Reb Noam, the leader of our pesach seder appeared sporting a self-styled kipa with the words, ‘Next year in Miami’ written on it. But even my inner-fagele couldn’t have predicted that during this auspicious ordered meal we would leap up from our seats and start whipping eachother with longish spring onions. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! It’s just an innocent illustration symbolizing the oppression from which we were liberated and bringing new meaning to the words, ‘Hag Sameach’. I’m filing the Passover bitch-slap under the category, ‘Nice Detail’.
Rev Noam’s kipa says, ‘Next year in Miami’
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debra at 10:49 | Comments (2) | post to del.icio.us
Passover cleaning
April 22, 2005
In December 2004, a Spanish Talmudic scholar named Sinterklaas was cited translating the Torah,
‘Passover is the holiday when it behooves
us to clean the barnacles out of our grooves’.
If you don’t have anything in the fridge, it’s easier to clean it. Smetvrees, the fear of contamination, is an ancient Jewish tradition and therefore a once yearly scrub-down (and burning!) is on the menu today, the day before Pesach. Before the week of Passover commences, it’s necessary to rid the house of all items containing leaven, creating an elaborate excuse for rarely performed activities such as dusting and refridgerator cleaning.
Since March 11 I’ve been in my home exactly 3 days. The contents of my fridge (l to r, top to bottom) are: 2 eggs, jars of mustard and homemade sambal from January 2004 (a gift from a then-not-yet-ex, indicating the period of time that has passed over since… YIPES = LEAVEN!!!), 1,5 train station supermarket courgettes, leftover film from a photoshoot in 2003. 2nd row; 2 1000 yr. duck eggs, 1 open packet of gari (pickled ginger), pickled daikon radish, 1 jar of anchovis. 3rd row; 1 tin of sheep cheese in brine containing 1/8th of a cheese, 2 tins containing only brine which I will also categorise as clutter I mean leaven, 4 St. Marcellin lait cru cheeses brought from Occitania on Wednesday.
In the vegetable ‘crisper’, which I realistically refer to as ‘the rotter’; 1 piece of burdock from a 2004 automnal dinner, 1 carrot from same dinner, a lot of paper bags that act as an absorbent layer when I’m gone for any length of time ( = LEAVEN), 500ml of half fat milk, bought at the train station, 1 bottle of ketchup from last century. Ketchup is oddly exempt from all dietary law.
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debra at 10:20 | Comments (4) | post to del.icio.us
Avocado update
April 21, 2005
Safe and sound back in the Heimatt. Pity la geste Californienne. Compare the image above to the entry of hope before heading off to India and France. Looks like my sense of home in Amsterdam needs a bit of nurturing. My inner mother tells me to return the failed avocado sprouters to their original use as vessles of buffalo grass vodka.
debra at 8:01 | Comments (0) | post to del.icio.us
